{"id":974,"date":"2017-09-26T18:12:56","date_gmt":"2017-09-26T18:12:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/megaga.dk\/?p=974"},"modified":"2017-09-26T18:13:47","modified_gmt":"2017-09-26T18:13:47","slug":"974","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/?p=974","title":{"rendered":"A Majestic Cold \/ En majest\u00e6tisk fork\u00f8lelse"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

A Majestic Cold<\/strong><\/p>\n

The Majestic Medicus, Master of the Elementary Elements, Alchemist Superior Dr. Alfred Schuster was disappointed that for all his insights into the workings of God\u2019s nature (not the nature of God which remains ad infinitum beyond the reach of man\u2019s mind and eyes \u2013 another disappointment) he couldn\u2019t get over his head cold which frankly just as well could be called a chest cold, a finger cold, a lower back cold as all these – and more \u2013 areas of his corpus also seemed full of mucus and aches and brewed a pot of chamomile tea just as the simple folks in the chamomile fields would do it. No shiny mercury, no powder of unicorns\u2019 horn, no distilled light from the North Star \u2026 just a handful of dried flowers and boiling water. How common.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut\u201d, he said to himself, \u201cthis just shows that I am an ordinary human being not better or worse than anybody else \u2013 except maybe for that wretched Morgenstein\u201d (who claimed to have put life into a stone, which turned out to be a bug-infested potato and thus had \u2013 if only for a few weeks \u2013 challenged Schuster\u2019s position as Magicus Grande) \u201cand perhaps Pferdfeld\u201d, he thought and spat out the window to spread his germs seeing the wind was right to carry them into Pferdfeld\u2019s chambers, though he couldn\u2019t quite remember what Pferdfeld had done to him; he just didn\u2019t like the way his nose seemed to constantly point to his (Pferdfeld\u2019s) manhood as if to suggest \u201cMine is bigger than yours\u201d. \u201cNow, I will let this illness be a lesson in humility\u201d, he said to himself and wrote an edict which gave all week days new names except Wednesday – Wednesdays were bongo days and he didn\u2019t want to do without that weekly day of drumming; \u201cAs long as you play the bongos you cannot make wars\u201d, he said when he instigated that World Peace Day Law aeons ago \u2026 and he felt that he had accomplished a wee bit that day.<\/p>\n

All in all it was a slow day in Dr. Schuster\u2019s life and head. For a moment he thought about making it a law that everyone should walk like under water so he could keep up, but saw it would include his servants too and at some point he would run out of chamomile flowers and someone had to bring him new ones. He coughed and dreamed of snot free days.<\/p>\n

with a little engineering a Kleenex tree<\/em><\/p>\n

.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

En majest\u00e6tisk fork\u00f8lelse<\/strong><\/p>\n

Den Majest\u00e6tiske Medicus, Mesteren af de Element\u00e6re Elementer, Den H\u00f8jeste Alkymist Dr. Alfred Schuster var skuffet over, at han for al sin indsigt i hvordan Guds natur (ikke naturen af Gud, som ad infinitum ligger hinsides menneskets hjerne og \u00f8jne \u2013 endnu en skuffelse) ikke kunne komme over sin fork\u00f8lelse, som sad i hovedet, i brystet, i fingrene, det nedre af ryggen og mange andre steder i hans corpus og fyldte dem med slim og smerter og brygge (endnu) en pot kamillete p\u00e5 samme m\u00e5de som de almindelige mennesker, der boede i kamillemarkerne, ville g\u00f8re det. Intet skinnende kviks\u00f8lv, intet pulver af enhj\u00f8rningens horn, intet destilleret lys fra Nordstjernen \u2026 kun en h\u00e5ndfuld t\u00f8rrede blomster og kogende vand. Hvor almindeligt.<\/p>\n

\u201cMen\u201d, sagde han til sig selv, \u201cdette viser blot, at jeg er et almindelig menneske, ikke v\u00e6rre eller bedre end alle andre \u2013 m\u00e5ske bortset fra den nederdr\u00e6gtige Morgenstein\u201d (som havde h\u00e6vdet at til\u00f8re en sten liv, en sten der viste sig at v\u00e6re en kartoffel inficeret med insekter og s\u00e5ledes \u2013 dog kun for et par uger \u2013 havde udfordret Schusters position som Magicus Grande) \u201cog m\u00e5ske Pferdfeld\u201d, t\u00e6nkte han og spyttede ud af vinduet for at sprede sine baciller idet vinden stod rigtigt til at b\u00e6re dem ind i Pferdfelds v\u00e6relser, selvom han ikke kunne huske, hvad Pferdfeld havde gjort ham; han br\u00f8d sig blot ikke om, hvordan hans n\u00e6se uoph\u00f8rligt pegede ned mod hans (Pferdfelds) manddom som for at sige \u201cMin er st\u00f8rre end din\u201d. \u201cNuvel. Jeg vil lade denne sygdom v\u00e6re en lektie i ydmyghed\u201d, sagde han til sig selv og nedskrev et edikt om, at nu skulle alle ugedagene hedde noget andet; p\u00e5 n\u00e6r onsdag \u2013 onsdagene var bongo-dage og han ville ikke v\u00e6re foruden en dag med bongotrommetrommeri; \u201cS\u00e5 l\u00e6nge I spiller p\u00e5 trommer, kan I ikke lave krige\u201d, som han havde sagt, dengang han startede \u201cVerdensfredens Dag\u201d for l\u00e6nge l\u00e6nge siden \u2026 og han syntes, at han dog havde udrettet en lille bitte smule den dag.<\/p>\n

Alt i alt var det en langsom dag i Dr. Schusters liv og hoved. Et \u00f8jeblik overvejede han at lave en lov, der sagde, at alle mennesker skulle bev\u00e6ge sig som under vand, s\u00e5 han kunne f\u00f8lge med, men inds\u00e5 at det ogs\u00e5 ville g\u00e6lde hans tjenere, og at han p\u00e5 et tidspunkt ville l\u00f8be t\u00f8r for kamilleblomster og nogen skulle jo bringe ham nye, n\u00e5r han havde brugt dem han havde. Han hostede og dr\u00f8mte om snotfrie dage.<\/p>\n

med et smule h\u00e5ndelag et Kleenextr\u00e6<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Majestic Cold The Majestic Medicus, Master of the Elementary Elements, Alchemist Superior Dr. Alfred Schuster was disappointed that for all his insights into the workings of God\u2019s nature (not the nature of God which remains ad infinitum beyond the reach of man\u2019s mind and eyes \u2013 another disappointment) he couldn\u2019t get over his head […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[10],"class_list":["post-974","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-haibun","tag-haibun"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=974"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":976,"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/974\/revisions\/976"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=974"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=974"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/megaga.dk\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=974"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}